Nonviolent Communication and Conflict Management

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As I first thought about a disagreement or conflict I had recently experienced at work with a fellow colleague I remembered last year when I was first put in a new classroom and had an associate teacher to work with. At first she was extremely negative and I had the feeling that she didn’t feel she could trust or respect me. So the first thing I did as we have discussed this week in our class is showered her with kindness and positive responses to her questions. I continued to do this the whole six months I worked with her and by the third month she confided in me that the teacher she had been with before worked to have her fired so she was afraid that I would do the same to her. I assured her that I thought she was wonderful with the children and that I respected her decisions and how she worked with the parents and children. After we had this conversation she continued to be skeptical of me and wanted to make sure I wasn’t lying to her. However; as the year progressed she softened and the families even noticed the difference. I have since moved to Arizona and we still stay in touch she even gave me a wonderful reference for the job I was just recently hired on to for this fall. It isn’t always easy to stay positive in the workplace when there is someone that is negative yet it is worth the commitment to try and keep a positive climate even though a negative one is felt every day in the classroom.

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As you can see in the picture we as teachers have a great deal on our plate and it is easy to become frustrated and overreact. So one of the strategies I could use in this situation are NYC model which is when I foster my communication using my empathetic listening skills and focusing on the deeper needs of those I am listening to instead of reacting with judgment. This in-turn creates a compassionate communication that connects with the needs of others. I believe this is the interconnection I want to use in my interaction with people in my everyday life as well as in my classroom.

 

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I have known about the 3’Rs communication model since I started my degree towards my Bachelors Degree in Early Childhood so I have used this model as a reminder of how I can treat my families and coworkers with as the 3R’s. We learn that when we respect each other, and respond with compassion and empathy, our relationships become more meaningful and our respect for one another increases. I love the quote that Megda Gerber who wrote the 3R’s states “Having respect for the world is when you allow people to be what they are” (Gerber, 2018). I know that is how I would like to be treated so why wouldn’t I want to treat others the same way?

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When I talk with my students as they are faced with conflict I first ask them to take a deep breath with me and then release it. Then I ask them how they felt about what happened, and then I ask them how they would want to be treated if they had created the conflict with the other person? It always makes me smile in my heart when the child is upset when he/she first comes to me yet after he/she thinks about how they would want to be treated if they created the conflict they want to be treated fairly and they want to continue to be friends. This in-turn is how nonviolent communication skills come into practice. “These skills emphasize personal responsibility for our actions and the choices we make when we respond to others, as well as how to contribute to relationships based in cooperation and collaboration”(CNVC, 2018).

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As I continue to gain knowledge in this course and learn how to communicate more effectively with the people I associate with I will continue to use the “NVC model”(CNVC, 2018) as well as the”3R’s” (Gerber, 2018) when disagreements or conflicts come my way. Have a marvelous week!

Tammy

References

The Center for Nonviolent Communication, CNVC. (2018). Foundations of NVC. Retrieved from http://www.cnvc.org.

Gerber, M., (2018). Blog Finding your Passion for Parenting. Megda Gerber 

seeing babies with New Eyes, Retrieved from https://www.magdagerber.org.

 

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